Friday, August 26, 2011

Can You Deeply Love While Dating?

Answering the question - what is dating might help in resolving this question of whether you can deeply love while dating?

Dating is a meeting or appointment between two people of opposite sex designed to enable them consider each other for other higher relationships such as courtship and marriage. It should be seen as a preliminary relationship that precedes the opportunity for marriage.

Responding to the above question from this premise, it then appears that loving at all at this stage is inappropriate. Dating is like a pre-selection process. During dating you have not really decided that a man or woman is worthy of your time. You are just trying to find out.

If you even lightly love someone you are dating, then the status changes. So you cannot 'deeply love' the person you are dating. Without fear of raising the dust of serious controversy, it should be stated that the feeling you call love for any person you have just met or in a dating stage of relationship with is NOT LOVE. There are two things that best describe or influence those feelings you - your ego and chemistry.

When you meet someone you admire, your ego goes to work and wants to prove that you are the one who has or owns this SPECIAL SOMEONE. This is your ego at work. It manifests in a number of other ways. The second influence that fires and raises sensations in your brain is called chemistry. You can call it chemical reaction. With the building of admiration for or adoration of a beautiful woman or handsome man, or one that appears to have lots of money, each time you are in the person's presence, your brain secretes volumes of chemicals, which saturates your brain and blood stream.

This chemical reaction fires up your physical emotions. You can call it nature's tricks to lure people into union for procreation for the propagation of the race. It is also called nature's connection agent. This is the hometown of such expressions as love at first sight and falling head over heels and other expressions to justify hasty wrong decisions. Studies have shown that this ego/chemistry based love lasts for eighteen months and if you are unfortunate to marry someone on this basis, within this period, and as soon as the ego/chemistry impact wears off, every bad thing is possible with the marriage. Those who fell for this can still save their marriage if they would now start proper dating and courtship while still married. But it requires hard work. Most people do not do this, instead, they fight, bicker and more often than not, break up the relationship.


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