Sunday, October 2, 2011

What Is This Dating And Courtship All About?

Dating in the relationship parlance is a meeting of two people of the opposite sex for the purpose of knowing if they can strike deeper relationships such as courtship and marriage. The aim of the dating relationship is to find a possible courtship partner.
The concept of dating has been so mixed up these days that two people who are merely dating have engaged in activities reserved for legally and lawfully wed couples such as necking, hugging, kissing and sexual intercourse. Because of this aberration, many Christian religious organizations and people condemn the act of dating. They point to the fact that it has no scriptural basis. They prefer courtship, which has scriptural basis approving the idea of finding a wife.
There are two great purpose of dating which make it a relevant activity in the relationship of the sexes namely:
• Socialization
• Marriage (find a suitable courtship partner)
The importance and intricacies of the marriage relationship and delicate balance in the differences in the thinking, response and viewpoint of the male and female person require that the connection leading to marriage relationship be worked out properly. Preparation needed to be able to live with one another happily ever after is huge and cannot be overemphasized.
This is why more advanced cultures and religious organizations approve of dating and courtship before marriage. They recommend, though, that dating should not be started until about age 16. Dating from age 16 should be for the first purpose, which is socialization. At this age, one is not legally qualified for marriage. Therefore, it gives dating partners the opportunity to learn social skills and competences. Social skills is not just good for use in a corporate environment, learning and gaining experience in how to relate with the people of the opposite sex is a critical skill that is highly recommended given the many pitfalls of the marriage institution. If a young man or woman begin reasonably to engage in social activities with people of the opposite sex, he or she would turn out the better for it when they get married and have to live with their spouses and be facing the challenge of being together and possibly raring children.
As mentioned earlier, it is the bastardization of dating with the engagement in sexual intercourse and other intimacies reserved for married couples that has drawn the ire of those who are opposed to dating. Nevertheless, dating for socialization is highly recommended. Dating for people from age 16 and above should be with several partners on different days, though and, preferably going in group dating activities. An older chaperon is of great importance. At this stage, going steady with one person is wrong and should be avoided.
The second purpose of dating is dating for marriage. This is recommended for people from age 18. At this age, people can be legally married. Dating here is a lot different from dating for socialization. Dating is going out on a meeting for identifying a possible partner for the more intimate relationship of courtship. It is still appropriate to date many people. Remember, you are searching. You would need to have qualities you are looking for in mind or written down on paper. As you date many people, you would be able to find out who has the qualities you are looking for. Dating in groups is still preferred. However, it is appropriate to decide to go steady with a date during this stage of dating if you find someone who fits your requirements. When this decision is made, then, the partners should stop dating and start courtship.
Dating activities may include meals and entertainment which is more appropriately obtained in public places such as restaurants, cinemas and concerts. Going home alone with a date is dangerous to your virtue and objective.
There are no hard and fast rules about how long a steady dating period should last. However, it is wise to not go steady for more than six months without moving it to the stage of courtship. If in six months of steady dating you are not sure that you should go into courtship, it is worthless to continue dating. If you have any reason to continue dating, you must downgrade it to casual dating again where both of you are free to meet as many potential partners as possible.
Courtship is an advanced form of dating. The purpose is still to find a spouse, though, much like confirming if the person you selected is really the right man or woman for you. While during initial dating, the individuals could carry on without their family members, during courtship, family members are involved. The man takes steps to affiliate with the family of the woman and the woman does the same. It is a more intimate relationship than dating. However, sexual intercourse or activities such as hugging, kissing and petting are not approved in a courtship relationship.
There are lots of wholesome activities to engage in during dating and courtship. It is the best time to learn about the foundation for joyful relationships and inculcate them in your life. These include friendship, mutual respect, faith in God, trust, virtue, love, etc.
As the name implies, courtship or courting also means pursuing or proving. The man is naturally the pursuer while the woman is the pursued. The man, like the cock, demonstrates evidence of capability to care, to sustain, maintain and lead. Courtship activities may involve, meals, entertainment and gifts.
During courtship, both parties and their families do in-depth study of each other.
A British survey showed that courtships on the average last between 3 months to 2 years. If moral standards are maintained during dating and courtship, it usually moves faster. Involvement sexual intercourse during dating and courtship is what prolongs these relationships. This is because they defeat the purpose of dating and courtship. The purpose is to learn and to know. Under the influence of sexual intercourse and the heavy feelings associated with it, the brain is saturated with too much chemistry that it is not able to learn and to know about the partners. Your mind would tell you that you do not really know this partner while sexual excitement is giving you another signal, so the day of decision is delayed unnecessarily.
If, therefore, you want an early decision by your dating partner about your relationship, avoid sexual intercourse during this important relationship stage. You would have the rest of your life to have all the sexual intercourse you need and after a few years, you would wonder where your sexual desires went.
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